Sania Mirza loses

Sania loses here. Sania loses there. Sania loses everywhere. Suddenly, I saw a news item mentioning that Sania had won rather than saying that Sania had yet another loss. Then, when i read the close print, I saw that sania had won an exhibition tennis match against her 9-yr old neighbour 7-6, 0-6,7-6. Sania's promoters felt that this match was needed to rekindle the passion about Sania in her neighbourhood, at least. In the past few months, the world has come to know only about Sania's losses and her promoters felt that this win might put her back on the front pages.
Well, this almost didn't happen. Her promoters had scoured the neighbourhood to find a girl who knows a lot about Sania, but doesn't know a lot about tennis. After weeks of screening, they chose Diya Mirza (whose father had incidentally named her so because of his crush on the actress by the same name). Playing against Diya Mirza would also get lot of publicity for the match, as many tongue-wagging teenagers would assume that it was the actress Diya Mirza who was playing and would turn up for the match. When Diya came to know that she was chosen for playing against Sania, she informed all her schoolmates, who promptly turned up for the match. What the promoters didn't know was that Diya had ordered the Rapidex Tennis Learning Course and increased her tennis skills manifold. Luckily for Sania, Diya contracted Conjunctivitis (also known as Madras Eye) and had to keep her one eye bandaged. This was what made the "easy" win for Sania possible.
Update: Sania Mirza's fans were found on the streets of Hyderabad celebrating her victory by burning posters of the actress Diya Mirza.